Tag Archives: poetry

Smiles and Lies

This piece was originally written in 2010, before I transitioned. The piece remains in its original format.

Hiding
Hiding
Suppressing
Suppressing

No matter what
It won’t stop
It won’t go away

No matter how hard I try
He stays and he stays
Digging and clawing

He begs and he begs
He whispers into my ears
and fills my dreams

Without him I am nothing
But he is not all of me
Acceptance is mutual

My dark passenger
Such a love-hate
He is all that is
And is all that I am

Yet he is not what they see
Nor will he ever be
Forever hidden
Behind a lie and a smile

Bullshit bullshit they cry
but they do not know
know one ever knows

people wonder why they never know
because it is always hidden behind
a smile and a lie

a monster can dream
and a monster can fear
but a monster will always lie

Always hidden behind a smile and a lie
always in the shadows
of your mind
of my mind

he whispers and speaks
and I gladly listen
for a monster’s plan is always
quite pleasant

for his dreams and his schemes
for his nightmares and his lusts
I am held captive

for I am the monster
who smiles and lies
who hides behind the clever disguise

the one you never suspected
was capable of anything
quite like the monsters

dreams and schemes
smiles and lies
we all hide behind

smiles and lies
smiles and lies

without them we are nothing
no where to hide no where to run
but we will always exist

they never see us
because our dreams and schemes
are all hidden behind
smiles and lies

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One Word

What would you do

If I asked you to stop saying

Just one word?

One.

 

Would you look at me and laugh?

Would you spit the word at me?

Or maybe you’d say that old adage

About sticks and stones.

 

What is I said that this word

Just this one

Or maybe a few

Out of our vast vocabulary

Hurt?

 

Would you spit again?

Would you tell me I’m weak?

Would you tell me words

Are just words?

 

Continue reading One Word

Sky

I wish my back was a stool
I wish my body a castle
I wish my heart an umbrella
and my arms a moat

I wish there were things I could say
I wish there were things I could do
That would simply be able
To keep you a float

There are things in this world
Monsters and demons
That wish to harm you
Wrapped in a human coat

When the wolves come howling
And scratching at your door
And you sit, shivering and scared
Remember these words I’ve wrote

There are things that will hurt us
Things that will make us cry
Things that will try to destroy us
But we can’t survive if we don’t try

There is light in this world
I know its hard to see
But all you need to do
Is turn your eyes to the sky

Even if you can’t see them
The lights are there
Shining brightly
A reminder to fly

When you hit rock bottom
When the floor is bed rock
There is only one way to go
There is no time to ask why

Continue reading Sky